I’m in Facebook jail… again.
That in itself isn’t a big deal. Zuckerberg has put me in his little jail enough times for me to become indifferent to it, even kinda institutionalized. The first time it happened was the result of me reposting and creating memes ridiculing Pepsi’s tone deaf ad featuring Kendall Jenner ending… racism? world hunger? everything? with a can of Pepsi. I’ll save the full story for another day but if you want to read about the backlash following the ad Yesha Callahan wrote a great and concise article that can be found right here.
The next few times were because I…
- Harassed an Alt-Right Facebook group after infiltrating it by pretending that I was one of “the good negroes.” You know the type. Articulate, not too dark, nose and lips big enough to be exotic but not “ugly” and says shit you may read on a Trump rally poster. I became you of those, “Look, I’m not racist. This nig- uh… Black guy said it.” They found out I was… I’ll tell that full story later.
- Roasted an entire Men’s Rights group once I found out they were less about men having rights and more about hating women. If you’re gonna be down for men’s rights you gotta be down for ALL men, men of color, poor men, men with felonies, LGBTGA* men, etc. Look, if you spend all day hating women and your girlfriend is hot I’m shooting my shot. I was in a dark place and pissed off at… look if you’re gonna steal someone’s girl Men’s Rights groups are the way to go. I got ran out of there.
- Got in an argument with a couple that eventually lead to them saying a had “little dick syndrome” so I posted a gray sweatpants covered dick pic. The girlfriend heart reacted. He reported me.
- Allegedly cyber-bullying Mark Zuckerberg… allegedly.
This time, however, I did absolutely nothing to warrant it. A white woman slid into my DMs with the wild thirst asking if I imagined what my dick would look like between her lips. I replied with a simple and honest, “nope.” This resulted in her calling me a, “nigger f*g,” and telling me to get AIDS by getting fucked in my nigger ass. The only thing I said to her was, “nope.” I didn’t even say I wasn’t down to splish splash in her sugar walls. I simply hadn’t imagined it. She was a literal stranger. How would I imagine making sweet love to a face I’ve never seen before? How, Rebecca? How?
In response to her racism I posted the screenshots of her messages then sent her an invoice for $250. She refused to pay and said she would never “pay a n*gger to f*ck her.” I didn’t respond but I wrote a few paragraphs about it and I don’t like writing for free. That’s what the $250 was for… the price of sex with me has to cover a month of my rent. I’m way better at fucking then I am at writing. You see these grammar and punctuation errors! I personally feel like my response was tame and informative but once the internet got a hold of it I found out I “dragged” and “gathered her up” like an expert. I did call her Becky with the thin lips but that was simply me making her aware of her flaws.
She later posted an apology to me saying she was just stressed out from dealing with an unfaithful husband. She also made it clear that she dated a Black guy once, has Black friends, and is not, in fact, a racist. She also claimed the name on the profile was not her own rather it was the name of the woman her husband was having an affair with. My response was simple,
Black and gay people are not pawns for you to inflict mental and emotional trauma upon to blow off some steam or play your twisted game of slandering another woman’s name. Go show what you’ve said to your ex-boyfriend and your Black friends and see if they forgive you. I reject your apology.
Following that she went on to double down on her racism and verbal assaults. Telling me and several others to go back to Africa and stating that Black people are only useful for sex and labor. I was getting 99+ notifications per second so I deleted the app from my phone and continued with my day. After a few hours I saw that I was now in Facebook jail which is something I was mildly expecting when I saw 7k shares. At that point even if 1% of the people who saw it reported me that’s still enough for Facebook to… actually let me stop and just get to the point.
“Facebook Jail” is just a phrase; in actuality it’s a post block that stops you from liking, messaging, commenting, or using any other form of interaction with Facebook. You are still able to login, read messages, accept friend requests, and lurk in general. As I’m writing this “Becky” is not in Facebook Jail; she’s still tagging, messaging me, and commenting on my posts. I can still read her ignorant words but I’m voiceless to reply. Not that I would because she clearly isn’t going to pay me. But still.
I didn’t use any slurs and pulled several punches because I’m aware that insulting her body, face, or other features too much may have caused some collateral damage by hurting other woman who would read it. Essentially, doing my best to not body shame a woman while she was calling me a nigger and threatening other Black people. I know how the internet works and if there was a slight hint of misogyny or bodyshaming her racism would have been considered a little valid. Then I’d be considered an angry Black man… but I guess calling her Becky is worst than her calling me a n*gger f*g? *eye roll emoji*