I’ve heard several complaints about women going on dates with men just to get free food. These women use and discard nice guys who are generous enough to treat them to a 2-for-$25 dinner at Applebee’s they would have otherwise had to buy themselves. With the increased popularity of dating apps, this has been happening more frequently and I decided it was time somebody find out why. I’m personally too awkward to date someone I met by “swiping”. It seems like the best case scenario is having an interview while staring at a stranger with your mouth full of food and trying your best to be charming, and I’m fully cognizant of my being a hideous chewer. No one has ever told me this, I just know it has to be true. I don’t understand the point and I’m not losing anything by avoiding it. I’m good luv, enjoy.
Note: this is about people who are acquainted with each other, have engaged in some level of interaction on multiple occasions and interest (though not necessarily mutual) has been established.
- She Doesn’t Like You
You may have shown interest in her and noticed it was never reciprocated, so instead of moving on and finding a woman who is drawn to whatever you have to offer, you continued pursuing the woman who doesn’t like you. You viewed it as a challenge. Somehow you were going to get her to change her mind and see you in a different light. Working on your personality is hard and takes a long time so…
- You Tried To Impress Her With Money
Now that you were aware that she wasn’t interested in your personality and didn’t want to sleep with you, you changed your approach. You decided to assure her that you respect her boundaries and just wanted to take her out one time to see if you can change her mind; she picks the spot, you pay. That’s an amazing offer. She agreed but…
- She Still Doesn’t Like You
But you fed her! You bought an appetizer, entree, and dessert! What’s wrong with these women? Does no one appreciate a good man trying to do something nice for them? The nerve of her to eat and drink on your dime then treat you like you don’t exist!
Well, I don’t know if you know this but buying a meal for a woman, or anyone for that matter, doesn’t entitle you to anything in return. If you continue to pursue someone after they’ve shown you that they aren’t interested, that’s not only pathetic but disrespectful and predatory. Nobody who you show that you can’t respect their right to tell you “no” wants to spend their time with you. That’s a clear sign of disrespect and a willingness to disregard other boundaries in the future.
As a man, that would irritate me but, for women, that lack of respect can be dangerous and has proven fatal for many. While you fear being ridiculed or spending money on dinner and not being repaid with sex, women have to fear being physically harmed, and they aren’t going to take that risk to coddle your fragile feelings. And we all know women talk to women, so when you behave like this trust they’re telling everyone in their circle and you’ll be known as the man they should avoid. No woman will want to be left alone with you.
Men should have enough dignity to not be anywhere we aren’t desired. Aside from the entitlement, imposing your presence on others is a display of low self-esteem, a universally unattractive trait. On the other hand, if you treat women with respect and create a reputation for yourself as someone who respects boundaries, while managing to be even a little bit interesting, you’ll never find yourself being “scammed” out of a meal again. Not only will women want to get to know you and spend time with you, they’re likely to introduce you to their friends because you’re enjoyable to be around. Women gravitate towards men who other women enjoy being around, because these men have exhibited the far-too-rare ability to not be completely useless and draining. If you can do the same, you may be able to go on a date with a woman who just wants to be with you.
Stop scamming yourselves.