A Stack of Words

Sapiosexual Isn’t a Thing and You Aren’t Special

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Sapiosexual isn’t queer.

It’s not even a real thing. What you consider intelligence is simply a matter of someone sharing the same viewpoints, interests, and opinions as you. Everybody is intelligent in whatever they’re interested in, you simply think your interests and standards are superior to others.

I’ve seen a lot of straight people trying to snake our way into queer spaces during Gay Pride month and weeks this year by identifying themselves as demisexual and/or sapiosexual. No.

You’re not queer or special. No one has ever persecuted anyone for liking intelligent people. You’ve never felt ashamed or questioned what was wrong with you. That isn’t your space. I’m going to leave that alone because I’m heterosexual, so that’s probably not my lane to gatekeep. However, I will tell you why sapiosexual isn’t an actual thing in the first place.

Look up the origin of the term “sapiosexual.”

We made it up on the internet to troll pretentious people in the early 2000’s. It was used all over MySpace as a joke. It seems legit because “sapiens” is Latin for “wise”, but we were just fucking with people. It disappeared for a while then popped up a few years ago with people being DEAD serious about it and using it completely unironically.

I feel like there’s only a small number of us who know the origin. If you’re younger, the term has been around most of your life and you wouldn’t question its legitimacy. If you’re older, you don’t understand meme culture and probably weren’t on MySpace trolling people.

There’s no decades of study or research behind it as there is with other sexualities for a reason. The sexual attraction to intelligent people isn’t a unique trait in humans. It’s part of survival of the fittest. We’re inclined to mate with people that will give us intelligent offspring. If someone lacks that natural inclination that’s an outlier and a sign of development issues. Their offspring have a higher chance of dying before they can procreate further.

Social media was pretty niche back then and trolling was even smaller, so there may only be a few thousand people who remember the beginning of this. It’s frustrating but hilarious to watch “intellectuals” earnestly use this word with “mysterious origins” to describe their superior standards.

Someone with muscles displays bodily-kinesthetic. They have a natural inclination to understand the human body and how it works. If they’ve developed large muscles they most likely have knowledge of anatomy, nutrition, and extensive understanding of how each muscle responds and develops through certain movements.

What YOU personally consider intelligence is nothing more than your opinion. Millions of Americans think Trump is intelligent. Millions think he’s a complete idiot. Your individual definition of intelligence reflects only your own interests and values. Half of you sapiosexuals are reading this and thinking I’m a complete moron because you feel attacked because you’re a moron.

Psychologist Howard Gardner described 9 types of intelligence. I’m displaying linguistic intelligence. I have a way with words that allows me to fully articulate every thought I have so that my ideas are understandable and easy to digest. I’m also displaying interpersonal intelligence because I know my audience and know to avoid certain topics that will turn them against me, while maximizing how agreeable I want them to perceive me as to gather support. These are two of the most common types of intelligence that society embraces in considering a person “smart.”

That doesn’t make me any smarter than a person with poor grammar and spelling who is an amazing chef. You may consider them ignorant, ghetto, backwoods, or a few other things because they don’t know how to use a measuring cup or explain the cooking process, but that person has naturalist intelligence. They just KNOW ingredients and how they should blend them to create flavors. They’ll also likely pick up on types of animals and plants easily. People with naturalist intelligence were essential to our survival during the hunter-gatherer stage of history.

Being pretentious is not a sexual orientation.



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