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Jack Skellington Is A Cultural Appropriating Piece of Shit

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Alright, Everybody Just Calm Down And Hear Me Out

I’m watching The Nightmare Before Christmas through completely legal means although I can’t promise that I’m entirely sober but it’s the weekend and I don’t have to explain my life to you. It’s in shambles. My life is in shambles. That’s the explanation. Anyway, I noticed Jack is kind of a selfish jerk. A fact that I also realize is so blatantly obvious that only a bigger jerk (me) would fail to notice that immediately. When he isn’t ignoring the girl who loves him he’s condescending towards her. One of the first things he does when he finds himself in Christmas Town is a series of breaking and entering various homes with sleeping children. Okay, I’m nitpicking but I’ve already committed to this concept.

No, I’m Not Calm But I Need You To Relax So You Can Agree With Me

Let’s discuss his dismissal of the girl who is integral to his growth and the plot in general. I think her name was Samantha but that doesn’t sound right. Samantha, or Chelsea as I’ve just decided to call her is enamored with this man who completely ignores her. I don’t have anywhere to go with this thought process so I’m switching gears. Also, I just remembered her name is Sally.

The Mid-Life Crisis

The dude clearly has recently had a divorce and isn’t coping well with it so he’s bored with life and knows has an empty void to fill because his life revolves around being The Pumpkin King. He laments about being tired of his crown despite only working one day a year. Fuck him. So he decides it’s time for some excitement! And what’s the most exciting activity of all?

Stealing The Work And Accomplishments Of Others 

Aight so boom. Homeboy kidnaps a whole dude named “Sandy Claws” and that’s not his real name but who cares? It’s not like you have to respect people when you displace them from their native land, right? He does all of this because he wants to have a fun Christmas after only reading a few books about it in less than a 24 hour period. He not only wants to celebrate it he wants credit for it. He wants to be praised after stealing the cultural celebration from another civilization and subjecting their figurehead to the whims of a madman made of various insects inside of a cum sock! What the fuck is Oogie Boogie!?!? Jack is so drunk off his entitlement he had the audacity to deliver those nightmarish toys to the children of Christmas Town and thought he could get away with it. This all could’ve been avoided if he spoke to at least one resident of the town prior to saying “fuck it I read two books.” The gifts shouldn’t have been terrifying in the first place but the Halloween Town people wanted to “improve” on a culture they took zero time to understand. Bruh…

How Fucking Dare You

Where the fuck do you get the nerve to think you can waltz your pasty no lip having ass into our neighborhoods and think we’re supposed to entertain you because you’re having an identity crisis and need some inspiration!? Then when he gets shot at this bitch wants to turn around and play the victim like he didn’t commit several felonious acts! He gets back to Halloween Town and triumphantly proclaims himself the Pumpkin King after he gets shook and realize shit ain’t all sweet in Christmas Town and Santa’s job isn’t as easy as he thought. Bitch, we don’t exist for you to come to terms with your-

I Had To Get More Whiskey

I calmed down. Yeah, so, in closing he probably could’ve been a little more sensitive to the resident of Christmas Town. I guess. It’s cool tho. It’s just a movie. I’m not tripping. Santa Clause made it snow on them after he fixed their mistakes so I guess it’s cool.

The piece of shit.

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